Step One: You are going to need some bread. If you don't have any go to the store or gas station/convenience mart. Buy a lot you can't go wrong with bread. It is good. Do you like wheat? Do you like bran? Do you like cinnamon and raisin? If you do then you are into man love and need to go play taint tag. I apologize that was very mean spirited. Do you like white bread? Thin or like a Texas toast. There are a lot of varities so ask someone's opinion before your purchase.
Step Two: You have bought bread now you can begin to start making delicious. First take one slice maybe two. Do you have the bourgeois toaster with four slots. Like some weird carnie's vagina. Now put it in the toaster. The bread, that is. I said vagina earlier and don't want to throw you off.
Step Three: depress the toasting lever and adjust the toaster from Tony Danza to Tom and Jerry's maid. I apologize again that came out wrong. I love people. Push it down till it stays down like "the man" oppressin' poor folk.
Step Four: Magic! You have toast. Put some butter or jam or peanut butter or honey or plain. Put it on with a knife or spoon. Or special it up and use your fingers.
The Romans added a piece of burnt bread into the cup-hence, "a toast". It was believed that charcoal reduced the acidity in slightly vinegary wine and rendered it more mellow and palatable. Now you know why they call it toast.Toast is fun. I like toast.
Deuce K
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