Sean Connery for Jim Beam

Sean Connery drinks it. Don't be a bitch and grab some Jim Beam!

Christmas

Happy Japanese Christmas

Baby got front!

Mary Ellen Bowles

Joan Zinn

Howdy Mam

Ahoy!

What Happenin'

Bunny Joy.

Read all bout it....

Are the newspapers in ruin because of a search engine? Does this goo-gel hunger to take over the written word? They have already killed newspapers which are copied onto obscenely large, often too hard to fold back up (What is with that? Why does it contain tips on “Bridge”?) gray newsprint paper. That is what one of the worlds’ richest believe. Online media fighting over whether you see the one guy’s banner for meeting “singles” in your area, or the other’s. Free phone with survey! Hooray. I guess this media mogul figures I am looking up news from one of his corporate online papers via this goo-gel instead of buying an advertisement ridden waste of time or going to website that may or may not contain facts…… What is that? A new Jay-Z album is dropping soon!

Do I go to goo-gel for this news coverage in the first place? After reaching the dotcom I hit the “news” tab and fulfill my need for random world headlines……. Yay, this is fun. Are topless photos of the lady who played Mam from Webster considered news?

Everybody knows you get your news from reliable sources like TMZ and via radio transmissions captured by the fillings in your teeth. I try to remain aware of current events, but I am not a global conglomerate business executive…… I think J-lo got a new dog! They never tell the truth anyway. Did you know that the guy that sang “don’t worry, be happy” is dead. He hung himself. Now back to searching for nude photos of celebrities.

EU- An Editorial With Pizazz or .........

The European Union elected new leaders raising the question what do they lead? I believe it is a plan for global domination and to bring on a steady diet of cheese and boiled food to the masses. How do you like your boiled meat? Soft or extra soft? Or maybe back to firm again?

They have their own currency and they are soon to unveil a flag that is just a picture of Michael Jackson holding a loaf of French bread, wearing a suit of armor. This will take the place of each of the independent countries’ colors. The state uniform will be hiking shorts and a neon soccer jersey.


Next, the pressure will be on Canada to adopt a techno-industrial national anthem and pass out glow sticks to school children. It will be easy to conquer our next generation, because they are raised on WII and Lady Ga-Ga. High-fives and the term “Bro” will be replaced with Sack-taps and the term “My nizzle”.

It turns out that Mountain Dew leads to diminishing test scores and a compulsive need to shave everything. I blame this all on Jane Fonda. Barbarella was our downfall. You just wouldn’t listen.

I am fucking classy

Get me down my pipe and white gloves and lets class this shit up.

Quotations from Dalton

Dalton, the cooler. He will cool you down. Like a shirtless non-lethal ninja. He sneaks up on you and ....... you've been cooled. From the Double Deuce in Jasper to a dump near you, he just cools.

With his three to I guess four part philosphy:

All you have to do is follow three simple rules. One, never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two, take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary. And three, be nice.

How does Dalton feel about pain you ask?

Pain don't hurt.

So in order to be a tough guy all you need is Tai Chi, mane and tail conditioner, a BMW, lots of blazers, a suture kit and three to four rules.

Doves crying

This is what it looks like when doves cry, but what does it sound like?

Candy

Candy Morrison

Tres Jacks Malos

Supposedly our buddy Dave is playing bass for 3 Bad Jacks. Gonna have to check them out Wednesday to believe it.

It is a good thing we like them Dave.

hangovers

I don't think I am hungover, but it really gets worse with age if I was hungover. I didn't drink that much lonestar. I need to start drinking classier beer. Shit, I feel like the south end of a north bound horse. I better hit the cocktails and eliminate this feeling.

hockey night....

Hockey Night definitely not in Canada.

Shakes

I am trying to laugh and enjoy Shakes The Clown and I realize.... I hate clowns. They just aren't that funny. Maybe it is just Bobcat Goldthwait.

Georgia Holden

Wha happened

From this To this. Never trust money and a addiction to cheese logs.

Cocktail Tutorial

Spinning the bottles and looking like a douche is reserved for T. Cruise. Here is the good kind of cocktail.
Bottoms up!

The Classy Fisherman

Drinking 100 proof rum and catching undersized trout on the bulkhead.


Could be worse. We could have been drinking 80 proof.

Rattsss

A gas tank is a gas tank.

Honda 750

Ferris

I need to call in sick, drive my friend's father's sportscar and lead a parade while singing some Wayne Newton classics. Ok, I guess I will just go to work.

We are the robots.

I don't know what is going on, but the robot has a good thing happening here.