Hello lady.

Get ready to smoke a nice Ashton cigar on the back porch. Ashton is a mild to medium-bodied cigar from the Dominican Republic that sports a Connecticut shade wrapper. 
Gritty, grimey, greasy. The air is thick and oppressive. I think they are on to me. What is the skinny, the scoop? Stop asking so many questions. The time is "hear" to go bat shit wierd-oh. It is the only sure fire method of keeping an edge. The smell of powerful smoke is still present in my shirt and fingernails. What the hell happened last night? Why do I only have one shoe? Mine is the lonely shoe on the highway. Like a chili stain on your sweat pants that you swear resembles Grace Jones. Sure I want to see it, but why did I drive all the way to Mankato? Maybe one more cherry vodka and capri sun on the rocks will calm my ass down....

Knee deep in tail. I guess they were VD free during the 60's. 

A Vodka Martini
1 1/2 oz Dry Vermouth
3 oz Vodka
Shake gently over ice. You don't want the ice to crack and shavings to make the drink look cloudy.