It was at one time I considered myself the top of the pops. Ok, I still do. Hopped up on prescription painkillers, thanks to the gorilla that twisted me up in a full nelson. When I say gorilla, I mean gorilla. The big bastard, 275 and 6'6",was at one time ranked 5th in the heavyweight boxing ranks. How he got a hold of my dapper thin frame is another story. He twisted me up like a damn pretzel and I found myself no longer being able to look left. So I was hopped up on muscle relaxers and a mild sedative. Man, I feel awesome.. Burning through the desert night with the strangest pair of lesbian gypsies I have ever met. Both on the butch side of life (whatever floats your boat). Hiking boots and cargo pants. Earth tones and burr haircuts. No frill and lace in sight. The one talked incessantly about picnics and camping. The entire car ride. Picnics.....camping.....picnics. At least someone drove. I was in no shape. I slinked into the back seat, but the yammering continued.
What??!? I woke to find myself outside of the middle of nowhere. Holy bat-shit, what cursed place is this. It is like Carnies flock here to die slowly in the burnt orange hell. It smells like hot and Birkenstock out. Oh woww....... the pretty colors. Come back lucidity. Wake up man. Get it together. Ok, I stroll out the Pontiac in a polyester clad stooper. See sansabelt slacks have no need for a belt and they are perma-press. They always look sharp and nothing sticks to them. Wings, mustard, nothing. They come in a spectrum of colors. A horrible spectrum ranging from old man to obscene in color. I couldn't make out the sign and I really didn't give a rat's rear-end.... You know you are in for a good time when you are high fived by an 80-year old stripper after hitting the door. What is this place and ..........zzzzzzzz.... What??.... Ok, I'm back. Where was I? I think I saw sweater meat. I need bourbon, asap. ....to be continued
(c) Kerwin
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